In honor of Pioneer Day in Florence, the Rialto Theater presented a Melodrama Double Feature!!! Both of these melodramas were great fun! The audiences got to cheer for the hero, sigh for the heroine, boo & hiss at the nasty villain, and laugh out loud at the antics.
The Ballad of Gopher Gap …or.. Sticky Fingers Won’t Wash
Written By Tim Kelly
Directed by Jerry RunnerSmith
Synopsis:
Bunco DeSneer (slicker than lard on hot cornbread) is salting the Spenawampum Mine in Gopher Gap with fake minerals. He hopes to snare rich Easterners looking for a good investment. He’s aided in his dirty work by Flora Fourflusher, a phony assayer, and Slats, a stupid stagecoach driver. The other full-time resident is Crazy Nanette, whose only child disappeared years ago when she left it in a nice cool spot… under an ice wagon. When the suckers show up (including a waif, a judge, a newspaperwoman and the man-hungry Ottillie), Bunco wastes no time in fleecing them. But wait! Two unexpected visitors arrive: Rocky Romantic, a mountain man and ’wilderness poet,’ and Verlinda Springblossom, a beauty. She’s inherited the town from a distant relative (the best kind), Piute Pete. Verlinda doesn’t believe in ’robbing the earth,’ so she intends to close down the mine and open a hummingbird sanctuary. Naturally, Bunco will have none of this and the hilarity begins. This is a side-splitting romp that’s overripe with cornball gags and puns, fast riotous action and fun roles.
Cast
Bunco DeSneer – Paul Pedtke
Crazy Nanette – Julie Griffo
Rocky Romantic – Duane Shoaf
Verlinda Springblossom – Katie Abbott
Verlinda Springblossom – Bronwyn Henry
Otillie – Wanda Walrod
Flora Fourflusher – Mandy Brown
Judge Abercrombie – James Ellis
Becky – Lilliana Orser
Minerva Hotchkiss – Tarasita Blair
Tony Mugs – Jasper Johnson
Slats – Diane DeLaurentis
D.K.Molar The Devious Dentist ..or.. There’s Gold in Them Thar Teeth
Written By Billy St. John
Directed By Sue Haws
Synopsis
Feeling a bit down in the mouth lately? Then this melodrama will surely put a smile on your face! The depraved dentist, D.K. Molar, and his noxious nurse, Nova Caine, have crafted a dastardly scam: after putting their patients to sleep with nitrous oxide, they remove the gold crowns and replace them with fakes made of fool’s gold. The unsuspecting patients are none the wiser. That is until Dr. Molar’s new receptionist, the lovely Flossy Dailey, starts chewing over some of the strange happenings in the office. With Phil de Tooth, an upstanding young dentist, she discovers Molar is prospecting for more than overbites. Molar, true to his calling, pulls a gun on them and threatens to drill anyone who tries to stop him. Brace yourself for the hilarious climax (which involves escaped laughing gas!) of this simple-to-stage production. It’s guaranteed to be the most enjoyable visit to the dentist you or your audience has ever had!
Cast
Iva Paine – Ann Olson
Nova Caine – Jo Castanos
D.K.Molar – Jeremy Shingleton
Polly Dent – Sue Haws
Flossy Dailey – Bronwyn Henry
Phil DeTooth – Jasper Johnson
Mr. Biter – Duane Shoaf
